Shape Of My Heart
by Elcyion Pitye
Summary: What if Taka and Miaka weren't meant to be? Here is a mushy Tasuki x Miaka songfic. Enjoy!


**Author's Notes:** _When will I ever post a NON-Fushigi Yuugi fic? WHEN?! WHEN?! WHEN?! This makes me look like I'm obsessed with Tasuki-Miaka mush._

_Oh wait, I take that back. I am._

**Disclaimers:** BSB and the song SOMH are NOT mine (DARN!) and FY and its characters aren't mine, either (DOUBLE DARN!). So please don't sue me, unless you want pocket lint...

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**_Shape of My Heart  
by Elcyion Pitye_**

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**_  
Baby, please try to forgive me  
_**

Bliss. That was what Miaka was experiencing as she kissed her beloved on that beautiful spring day in the park. So many things have been sacrificed for her and Taka's love. So many things had tried destroy it, but now everything came back to normal. The way it all should be.

Taka, however, broke it suddenly. The Suzaku no Miko looked up at him, her face a big question mark. "What is it?" she asked, afraid that she had done something wrong.

The former Suzaku warrior made a sad gaze at her. He didn't want to tell her how he felt, but it had to be done. He just wasn't happy anymore. "I'm sorry."

Miaka didn't know what to say. Why was he apologizing? What did he do? "Taka?"

Taka patted Miaka's hair softly and murmured regretfully, "It's just not there anymore."

The Priestess was confused. "W-what do you mean?" She had a feeling what he was about to say wasn't going to be good.

"The passion, Miaka. It's gone. I just don't feel the way I used to about you."

**_Stay here, don't put out the glow_**

She froze, not believing what was coming out of Taka's mouth.

"It was wonderful, what we had," he continued, "But now, I only think of you as a friend, a younger sister."

Miaka stood up, backing away from him. "You don't love me...?"

Taka shook his head and grabbed her hands in his. "No. I love you, but it isn't romantic love anymore. That burning desire has faded, Miaka. Being with you now just doesn't feel right." He looked deeply into her glassy green eyes. "Miaka, I'm sorry." His eyes were reflected with great sorrow and sadness.

"Don't touch me," Miaka whispered shakily, pulling her hands away from his harshly. A single tear slid down her cheek. "After all we have been through, you don't want to be with me anymore?"

He rose to his feet. "Come on, I don't want it to end like this." He extended his hand toward her. "Can't we be friends, at least?"

"NO!" Miaka yelled, sending nearby birds into the sky. "We can't, Taka. Don't you understand how I feel?"

Taka didn't say anything.

"I loved you, Taka. With my heart and soul. I wanted us to be together forever..."

"Miaka--"

"Shut up!" she cried, unable to take it anymore. "It hurts me so much, Taka. It just hurts so much." And with that, Miaka ran away from the park and into the busy streets, her vision blurred and her heart aching.

Taka let his hand fall down to his side, remembering all the adventures he and her faced with the rest of the seishi. Their love conquered it all. They proved that it was possible for a seishi to cross worlds and be with the miko he fell in love with. All those memories of their love brought tears to his eyes, but he didn't regret what he did moments ago.

**_  
Hold me now, don't bother  
If every minute it makes me weaker  
You can save me from the man that I've become_**

Meanwhile, Tasuki sat on a rock near a cliff, staring at the just-setting sun. It was gorgeous, but the bandit was too depressed to enjoy it. The beauty of the setting star reminded him too much of his miko's beauty.

It's been so long since she left, but sometimes, when thoughts of her crossed his mind, his heart still ached painfully, wishing she was with him.

Tasuki knew it would never happen. She was happy with Taka, and if she was happy, then he was happy too. Happy for her.

And now, thinking of her happiness, her smile, the pang in Tasuki's chest grew worse than ever. "Miaka..."

**_  
Looking back on the things I've done_**

After running and running and running, Miaka stopped and leaned against a lamp post to catch her breath. No sooner did she realize that she had stopped right in front of the restaurant where she met Taka for the first time. For a second, she just stared at her reflection in the window. Her tear-stained cheeks, her glassy eyes, the overall gloomy and shattered expression on her face.

"Pathetic," she whispered to herself angrily. She was pathetic. There she was, running away because an honest guy wasn't romantically in love with her. The world wasn't going to end because of that. After all, Taka was only her first love.

But not her true love.

The miko let out a furious cry and turned away. Why was love so important to her? She didn't need a boyfriend to make her happy. She had her best friend Yui, her older brother Keisuke, his best friend Tetsuya, and of course, her mother. She had friends and family.

But she was still alone.

No, she didn't need comforting arms around her, whispers of "I love you" sending shivers down her spine, passionate kisses she wished would last forever...but why does it hurt so much? Will it ever subside?

"Tasuki would've tried to cheer me up," she mumbled sadly. But he wasn't there. He was back in his world, living a normal life. Maybe he had forgotten all about her.

"Tasuki..." she said softly, unaware of the hidden fondness in her voice.

Before she could walk away, Miaka gasped. She suddenly felt warm, satisfying air surround her, blanketing her. The color red painted the scenes all around her. Feeling the familiar red glow instantly made the miko feel better, more tranquil. The redness then thickened, hiding the city she lived in from her view.

**_  
I was trying to be someone_**

Tasuki's compassionate thoughts of his beloved priestess were then replaced by that night at the inn. It seems that whenever he thought of Miaka, he thought of the worst thing he ever did to her. Now she probably would never love fall in love with him, even if she broke up with Taka.

A bright red light all of a sudden illuminated from behind him. The power of the glow was so strong that its rays could be seen even if he was completely turned away from it.

That glow could only mean that she had come back again. He whirled around, pulling himself to his feet. Could it really be her? After being gone for so long, she returned?

The red aura faded, revealing the one girl he was born to protect with his life. The one whom he fell deep in love with. He kneeled down next to Miaka's unconscious body and gently ran the back of his finger against her cheek. No longer was she just a girl. Her cute, youthful looks were replaced by a slightly more womanly beauty, but it didn't change the way Tasuki felt about her.

With a soft moan, Miaka stirred and opened her eyes. Her innocent green eyes stared into Tasuki's fiery amber ones, but she didn't speak.

"You came," Tasuki said flatly, removing his hand from her face. He didn't mean to sound monotone and heartless. It was just the way he was. He always kept his emotions hidden deep inside his soul.

The miko sat up. "Why am I here?" she asked. "Is there something wrong?" She pushed herself off the ground and stood up, looking up at Tasuki and waiting for an answer.

The bandit just glanced at her questioningly, his face stoic. "I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Oh," she replied, kicking a small stone. It rolled to the edge of the cliff. Her gaze moved from the rock to the descending sun on the horizon. Her expression was blank, dazed.

Tasuki couldn't help but worry. He'd think that she would at least smile, for it had been years since they had seen each other last. Something was seriously wrong. He touched her shoulder. "Is anything...you know, wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she answered too quickly, her voice breaking. Tasuki wasn't fooled. He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "It's Taka, isn't it?"

"You can always tell, can't you?" Miaka said quietly. She burst into tears. She looked at her left ring finger and noticed that the ring wasn't there anymore. She must have dropped it on the street somewhere. This made her cry even harder. "He doesn't love me anymore..."

**_  
I played my part, kept you in the dark  
Now let me show you the shape of my heart  
_**

Tasuki didn't know what to do. There she was, two rivers of tears streaming down her pretty face and there he was, standing there like an idiot. Should he wrap his arms around her in a hug? Should he kiss her tears away?

He did the only thing he could do that wouldn't show his sensitive side. He didn't want to look that way, even in front of Miaka. He thought it would make him wimpy and weak.

"Quit the fuckin' tears, Miaka," he said, his voice low. He jumped at the sound of his own voice. It sounded rude, even angry. Miaka didn't deserve to be treated that way.

Miaka stared at him, equally startled at his tone. "Tasuki?"

"You're an idiot," he continued, his face hard, "Whining like a little kid over some fuckin' guy." He turned his back on her, not wanting to see her sad face. He couldn't believe he was acting this way towards her. But he preferred an angry Miaka over a broken-hearted one. "There you are, feeling sorry for yourself and thinking that your life would never fuckin' go o--" Tasuki stopped when he heard nothing from her. Not even the sound of her sniffling. Afraid that she had pushed herself off the cliff or something, he turned around.

**_  
Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical  
So help me, I can't win this war  
_**

To his relief, she was still alive, but her face looked more crushed than ever. "Do you hate me?" she inquired, her voice barely audible. She didn't realize how much she wanted Tasuki to love her.

What had he done? Tasuki felt like he could break down right there. He hurt her. He made the hole in her heart even bigger. Why was he hiding his feelings for her? Nothing's stopping him.

Tasuki held out his hand. In response, Miaka shrunk back a little.

His eyes softened. She was afraid of him now. Why did he choose to frighten her? He wanted her closer to him, not further away and destroying their friendship. "Stupid question," he answered, his voice surprisingly gentle. He wiped away a stray tear. The priestess jumped at his touch, but it wasn't unwelcome. Her eyes never wavered from his.

"Miaka, I..." he started. He paused, not finishing what he wanted to say. Tasuki mentally kicked himself. Why couldn't he say it? His hand dropped to his side, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

**_Touch me now, don't bother_**

Miaka stepped back and averted her gaze to the ground. Why should anyone love her? She was selfish, clumsy, stupid...she was better off dead. Maybe Taka secretly felt that way toward her but didn't want to make a scene. She was so stupid that he couldn't stand her, so his resolution was to dump her. Probably Tasuki felt the same way about her. She wouldn't be surprised if Tasuki ditched her right now. But why did she care so much?

**_  
If every second it makes me weaker_**

Tasuki watched as she backed away from him. Why was she doing that again? Was it something he did?

Of course it was. He didn't even apologize or do anything else of that sort for being rude. He stared at her retreated figure, seeing how vulnerable she looked at that moment. She's so clueless. Can't she see in his eyes how much he loved her?

But if he was so much in love with her, then why didn't make a move when she pushed past him and started to walk away? He couldn't let her leave!

He started to take a step, but found himself glued to his spot. Why he wasn't able to stop her, he didn't know. Most likely it was fear.

Fear of rejection.

**_  
You can save me from the man I've become  
_**

Genrou, the courageous leader of the Mt. Leikaku bandits, afraid? What kind of bandit would that make him? What kind of man? He shook his head. He can't do this forever. "I'm not fuckin' scared of telling you," he murmured under his breath. "Or showing you. Not anymore."

**_  
Looking back on the things I've done  
I was trying to be someone  
I played my part, kept you in the dark_**

"Miaka!" He called out. "Wait!" He took a few strides forward. There's no stopping him now.

The miko stopped and turned around, her facial expression unchanged. There was a glint of hope shining in her glazed forest green depths. The bandit calmly walked up to her until he was only inches from touching her.

"What is it, Tasuki?" Miaka asked.

**_  
Now let me show you the shape of my heart_**

"You never let me answer your question," he replied, a small smile playing on his face.

"Question...?" she repeated. She stared at him quizzically.

The bandit's hands found their way to hers. "If I hate you or not."

**_  
I'm here with my confession  
Got nothing to hide no more  
I don't know where to start  
But to show you the shape of my heart_**

Miaka's heart started to beat a million times faster. Tasuki was holding her hands tightly, like he never wanted to let go. That was when she realized how much she loved Tasuki. That feeling was concealed deep in her heart. She just shoved it away because of her relationship with Taka. He was so important to her. But at that moment, that second, she knew she was able to move on without any grief.

Tasuki's hands separated from hers and then he encircled his arms around her waist, pulling her into a hug. "Does that answer it?" he whispered into her ear.

Miaka nodded, putting her arms around his neck. She happily laid her head against his chest and sighed. Tasuki stroked her soft brown hair contentedly, breathing in the sweet aroma of her hair.

The two stayed that way for a while, oblivious to everything else.

**_I'm looking back on things I've done  
I never wanna play the same old part  
Or keep you in the dark  
Now let me show you the shape of my heart_**

  


Back in the real world, Taka walked to work, juggling his car keys in one hand. He spotted something glistening in front of the restaurant. He took a closer ring and realized it was Miaka's ring.

He picked it up and smiled. He had an intuitive feeling that she wasn't alone anymore.

Taka tucked the piece of jewelry in his pocket and went on in to the restaurant. He was happy that she was happy again, the way she should always be.

  


**_Looking back on the things I've done  
I was trying to be someone_**

Tasuki pushed Miaka away slightly. "I'm sorry," he said solemnly, looking at her at eye level.

Miaka almost panicked. He couldn't be leaving her too, could he? She didn't want to be alone again. "T-Tasuki?"

"I was mean to you," said Tasuki, "I tried to cheer you up, but I ended up hurting you. I know I was being a hypocrite when I said that I would never h--"

Miaka interrupted him by putting her finger to his lip, shushing him. "Everyone makes mistakes," she replied softly, moving it away. Her face was very near his.

**_I played my part, kept you in the dark  
Now let me show you the shape of my heart_**

Tasuki leaned in even closer, his mouth grazing Miaka's. "I hope this won't be one of them."

"I hope so too," Miaka whispered.

He pressed his lips against hers. Miaka gladly received the kiss and pulled him closer to her, deepening it.

**_Looking back on the things I've done_**

They eventually parted from their kiss, breathing lightly. A full moon shone overhead, the only source of light illuminating their faces and the rocky ledge they were standing on.

"I wanted to do that for a long time," Tasuki said huskily, touching his forehead to Miaka's.

The miko caught and held his gaze, in awe by the previous events. This is who she really wanted. With him is where she belongs. Why didn't she see it before? "Tasuki..."

"Don't talk," he replied, locking lips with her again.

**_I was trying to be someone_**

As Tasuki's mouth closed on Miaka's, he thought of reasons of why Miaka came back. As far as he knew, there wasn't anything wrong in Konan. No danger, no new adversary. Was it somehow because of him?

Miaka pulled away gently. "Is there something wrong?" she asked, "You stopped... responding..."

"I was just wondering why the hell you're here," Tasuki answered, "I mean, as far as I know, there's not a damn thing wrong with either world."

"Do you know what I think?" Miaka replied. She took his hand and put it against her heart. The bandit blushed a little, knowing where it also was.

"It's our strength in here," the miko explained. "Our hearts. I think Suzaku felt the loneliness we were going through and secretive longing we had for each other. It was the will power of our souls that brought us together."

**_I played my part_**

Tasuki nodded understandingly. "Nice explanation. I didn't think a baka like you would be able to come up with something like that," he joked good-heartedly.

Miaka pretended to be offended. "Tasuki!" She hit him playfully on the shoulder.

They shared a few more laughs until Tasuki turned serious again and tilted Miaka's chin up so that he could look straight into her pretty face. "Are you here to stay?" he asked hopefully.

"If you want me to," Miaka responded lovingly.

He pulled her to him in a tight embrace. "Then please, stay with me...forever."

**_Kept you in the dark_**

She was speechless. His devotion to her was so strong, maybe stronger than that of Taka. Does she even deserve this? No, but Miaka didn't want him to be lonely like her. He needed more than just his friends. He needed someone to love. He needed her love, like she needed his. "I love you..." she murmured into his ear.

Tasuki kissed her hair and whispered back, "I love you, too." Another blush crept up his cheeks. He never thought he could say that. He forced the color in his face away and added, "So will you stay? Always and forever?"

**_Now let me show you the shape of..._**

Miaka smiled, happy tears springing into her eyes. "Yes..." She closed her eyes, taking in the wonderful moment of being in the comfort of his arms. "Forever."

**_Show you the shape of my heart_**

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Okay, so I like the Backstreet Boys! Don't make fun of me! This is the first songfic I have ever posted, and I'm kinda proud of it. 

_**January 2005:** Hello, Don't mind me, I'm just reformatting this songfic for your convenience.. :3_


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